On Putting Books Down - Permission Slip
Below, I’m commenting on a book I returned due to my sensitivity to the subject matter discussed in the first few pages of the material. I think trigger warnings are mostly stupid, but just because I think that way doesn’t mean I’m right. Please take this as permission to skip this post if you, like me, have a very hard time reading about the insinuation or outright naming of crimes against women. Thank you.
Sometime ago, I decided I didn’t have to finish reading something if it didn’t speak to me. I’ve never been a hardcore completionist when it comes to reading. I think it is perfectly acceptable to try a book on and see if it fits.
Moments ago, after reading the preface and the few lines of chapter one in The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls, I returned it to the library and listed it under DNF (did not finish) in my book log.
I want to be incredibly clear: This book is necessary. It shines a light on problems that so many people deny exist. It is heart-wrenching, uncomfortable, and brutal—the perfect kind of book for the ignorant.
As a woman who keeps her sensitivity mostly comfortably stored away in a mason jar beneath the sink so I can do things like eat, sleep, and have a job, I cannot read books like this. I muscled through the preface, telling myself it was important to experience Mona’s discomfort, fear, and rage. The education she’s sharing is important.
But here’s the thing—I do not need this education. I’m already pissed about sexual assault, abuse in and out of relationships, and everything else. I, like most women, know first, second, and third-hand about all manner of inappropriate, savage, and evil behavior.
This book was written to educate people who are ignorant by choice or by luck of the draw.
I put the book down for my personal psychological safety. I know what upsets me and keeps me up at night. And, yes, we should all lose sleep over the atrocities that are happening to women and girls and, hell, everyone, but we also need to acknowledge that losing sleep over it isn’t going to solve anything.
Being a good neighbor, voting accordingly, and volunteering when possible does. It’s a slow pour, but it is action.
I’ve returned this book to the Nashville Public Library, so you can check it out now. It might be the right book for you. You may need this kind of immersion in the topic.
But if you are like me and are literally too sensitive to read it, it’s okay. Not every book is for you. Leave it for the person who needs it.